When we lose the people we love the most, we resort to promises; promises of what we will do in memory of them; promises of roles that we will pick-up in an attempt to take their place; and most of all, we promise to do the things they would've wanted us to do. As time passes and the mourning stage fades, often so do those promises we made in light of their death. We grieve in Purple Rain: in the lilac of peace and clarity in the mist of sublime emotions, we find reasons to live a better life.
In the past decade, there have been many Purple Rains in my life. My family has lost some of the most pivotal people; the people that made a difference to living. We lost our lifeboat, our paddle, and our anchor in one full swoop. Losing so much at once makes you realize just how fast everything and everyone you thought would always be there, everything you believed could wait, can be gone before you get the opportunity to ever honor what it means to you. We wait for Purple Rains to have our best celebrations. Why is that?
It's extremely difficult for me to celebrate Purple Rains. I find it painful to dance in the rain without the honoree dancing next me. Everyone is different. Some people need those Purple Rains. They need to be reminded of the things lost; they need a different kind of closure to move forward. I understand this, just as I understand that closure doesn't happen for me in Purple Rains. I take them for what they are; passing opportunities to praise a life gone. I look forward to seeing that person again, in a better time and a better place. We can't live for Purple Rains.
We have an opportunity while we're living to invest in the things we won't be able to when we're gone. There's no doubt that grieving is a necessary stage of saying goodbye, but before the time comes think of what you can do to remind that person how much they meant to your life. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to say goodbye to some of the most important people in my life, before they passed. Although we didn't see other nearly as much as we should have; although, years of our life passed before either of us truly realized and accepted their last days on this earth were coming to a close- there's nothing we can do to change the past. All we can do is move forward, and live with the promises we can keep to them.
There are some things that I can truly say I haven't been the best at doing the past few years of my life. I acknowledge and take full responsibility for the things I've fallen short of. I haven't been the best at investing a great deal of time into family; I use to be and I still love them with all my heart, but as I've gotten older I find myself taking more time to focus on developing my life; asking for them to make more of an effort on their end, as I feel I did for many years of my life.
Although I've always extended my family opportunities to be a part of my life and vice versa, I realize there's an invisible bridge that seperates us; a bridge that I use to cross all the way. It's not that they don't care to meet me half way, it's just that our lives have taken us in different directions. For some, I am more capable in areas they are not. However, we're all just as guilty as the other of growing apart; it's counterproductive to keep a tab on "effort" when speaking of family. But, the one thing that I know to be true is that we love each other. Through thick and thin we will uphold that love in the face of anything. Sometimes that's all we have; sometimes that's all we need.
I want to celebrate and serve more today, than in Purple Rains. I want to dedicate myself to living the quality of life that will grant me the opportunity to open doors not only for myself, but for others, and for those in my family that share a mindset about bettering themselves. I want to LIVE, not die, knowing that my life's work is not in vain. I encourage you to sacrifice with the intentions to gain a lot, not a little. Along the way, you will may miss some of those special moments, you may even wonder if what you're working so hard for is worth what you're missing, but if your intentions are purposeful and your heart is at peace then you will rest with no regrets in Purple Rains.
I couldn't provide the things I have for myself and others that I've been blessed enough to lend a hand in their time of need, without sacrificing the things that I have to get to where I am. There are times that I give tough love, because tough love made me the warrior that I am today. When people ask me why do I work so hard, I tell them it's because of my pride and integrity; it's because I aim to be a woman of service; it's because I want to make an impact in this world; it's because I don't know any other way to serve and invest in MY LIFE. I can't jump on the band of negativity for anybody; it's not the way I'm accustomed to living. I am resilient because it's all I know how to be. If you stay focused on the "cants" you'll nave get to the "cans". I can't change the areas I've fallen short on in my life, but I can live today focusing on the legacy of my future. When my Purple Rain comes, I want to know that people valued me while I was living and not at my time of death.
In the lilacs of Purple Rains, let's be reminded of all the things those that passed wanted for our life. Let's celebrate the memory of the accomplishments of the roles they've played in their life, and honor them by dedicating ourselves to committing to a purpose to be successful. I don't want to dance in Purple Rains; I want to acknowledge yet another day to recognize that life is too short not to LIVE. We too often celebrate or dwell on yesterday's that we can no longer re- live, and tomorrow's that have no guarantee. All we can do is engross ourselves in living today, and planning for tomorrow. We can only make promises to continue working on the work in our life.
Don't live to be a bystander in Purple Rains; LIVE so that your Purple Rain is not the first celebration of your life.